Thursday, May 14, 2009

The blurring of the gender lines

One by one, states are coming to the realization that discrimination against entire segments of the population is wrong, and they're either legalizing gay marriage or moving closer to the reality that everyone is entitled to find marital bliss - or hell - depending on one's opinion of that institution! 

As we move ever further into the 21st century, the lines of gender are becoming increasingly blurred.  

On Tuesday, I came across a fascinating Op-Ed piece in the NY Times written by Jennifer Finney Boylan that asked the question, "Is My Marriage Gay?"  Finney and her wife live in Maine, where marriage equality just became law.  But Finney and her spouse were already legally married.  She was a "he" when they wed in 1998.  He began the "long and complex process of changing from male to female" in 2000.  Finney's wife Deedie, "deciding that her life was better with me than without me" decided to stay put. 

I contacted Jennifer to see if she'd come on the show with me.  After a very nice back and forth exchange via email in which she almost agreed to do it, but begged out due to the hypocrisy that she'd turned down similar invitations from Fox and ABC, she offered a substitute. 

"Helen Boyd, author of MY HUSBAND BETTY as well as SHE'S NOT THE MAN I MARRIED," she explained "is a very, very articulate spouse of a trans woman-- same situation as me, except from the wife's point of view.  She knows all the facts, and in fact is probably a more articulate spokeswoman than I am-- after all I am just a novelist who blundered into the Times. " 

So today, as I struggle with the challenges of everyday life as a single mother, I'll speak with a woman whose situation offers me the realization that life could be a bit tougher! 

I'll speak with Helen Boyd on Air America Live today at 12:15 ET.